On Pillows and Their Sleeping Habits

(pinterest)

Note: I wrote this “article” some while ago, but I think it an appropriate subject here on the last day of NaNo, when all we writers really want to do after a long month of writing is to crash and sleep and forget about writing and everything to do with it. Though we should probably wait till tomorrow for that… December is a great time for napping.


On Pillows and Their Sleeping Habits
by
Deborah O’Carroll

The way to get good sleep is to sleep on a pillow that is also asleep—preferably two.

Now, this is more difficult than you might suppose. You see, pillows, by their very nature, are nocturnal. They tend to be wide awake at night and extremely dormant in the day. This is why we often do not sleep as well as we should like, for when the pillow you are sleeping on (or trying to sleep on) is awake, it stands to reason that it will try to keep you awake as well.

Pillows are mischievous like that.

It is possible that they are at times also responsible for some of the more bizarre dreams people have. Pillows are such cleverly weird creatures they can come up with lots of things to think into our unsuspecting drowsy minds. And the mere suggestion of an extremely strange idea to our own wildly creative minds is like a shiny new toy, so that even in our sleep we cannot help but begin to play with it—which, as before mentioned, can make for some seriously bizarre dreams.

At any rate, the trouble of getting good sleep can be narrowed down to getting the pillow to fall asleep first.

This is difficult.

Experts on the subject—or at least, as expert as anyone can be on such in unpredictable area of science—say that there is no tried and true method to making a pillow fall asleep, at least at this point in time. This is further complicated by the fact that it is not possible to be 100% certain that a pillow is truly asleep. Sometimes they are faking.

Various methods have been tried with varying uncertain results.

Some have tried pillow fights in an effort to tire the pillows out—which sometimes only makes them more awake and inclined to be either excited or grumpy, depending on the temperament of the individual pillow involved.

Others have tried leaving pillows in a dark closet in an attempt to convince them it is nighttime when it is really daytime, in order to keep them awake (they prefer sleeping in light), so that they will be tired come evening. But pillows generally have a pretty good sense of day and night, even when locked in a closet.

Many other methods have been tried, but it is in any case a very tricky business, and results have been non-conclusive.

However, if you should experience an extraordinarily restful sleep, it may be due to the fact that your pillow is as sound asleep as you are.

Happy dreaming!

DISCLAIMER:
This article has not been read or approved by any authorities on the nature of sleeping or otherwise pillows, nor is it sponsored by any pillow-selling entities. The author of this article is not responsible for any strange or nervous feelings by readers toward their pillows after reading this.

Encrypted Fangirl Message

We interrupt your regular reading schedule of rather lengthy semi-coherent posts usually about writing and books on The Road of a Writer to bring you the interesting (?) phenomenon of a brief message from a screaming, flailing, entirely incoherent fangirl who claims to be dying of “all the feels” or some such.

*Begin Encrypted Message*

A;LSJDFLKSJDL;KASJDLFKSAJDLFKJSLDJ
GUYS
THERE’S A TRAILER THING
AND IT’S
I JUST
AAAAAHHHH
I CAN’T
WHY ISN’T IT MAY ALREADY
I NEED IT TO BE MAY
DYING
ALKDJFLKSJDFL
HAWKEYE AND BUCKY AND ALL IN ONE MOVIE
BUT PAIN TOO AND JUST NO

BUT I NEED IT SO MUCH
ASKDJF
BUCKY & HAWKEYE
AND ALL MAH PEOPLES
HAWKEY & BUCKYYYYYY *flail*
TRAILER THING
SEE
SEE SEE SEE???
TRAILER
AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH
WATCH IIIIIIIIIIIIT
*flailing*

halp
dying here
send help
a time machine to May 6th would be extremely helpful
thank you goodbye I’ll just be in my fangirl corner dying thanks

*End Encrypted Message*

For those who understood that reference* that message, thank you for reading. For others, we apologize that we cannot provide a translation at this time as our staff is mysteriously missing and/or incapacitated and cite above message and NaNo as culprits of this phenomenon.

We now return to our regularly scheduled program. Thank you.

*

The Hero Who Couldn’t Say No

The Hero Who Couldn’t Say No
by
Deborah O’Carroll

Once upon a time there was this . . . well, we’ll just call him a hero, even though he wasn’t exactly one, but was merely the Main Character of a story (specifically, this one).

This Hero had a strange thing about him, which was that he could not shake his head or say no.

If you said something to him like “Do you like asparagus?” he could not reply and give the obvious answer to that question — for of course, no one likes asparagus. You would have to rephrase the question to “Do you hate asparagus?” And he could nod, say “Yes!” and pour an emphatic stream of hate onto the subject, just as anyone would.

At any rate, this strange condition caused many problems, for, as you might imagine, not all questions asked of him had obvious answers like the asparagus one.

Probably what the Mentor would say… The Hero wouldn’t like it… (pinterest)

One day, the old man who was teaching him hero-like things (see: “Mentor”) — who, for the record, did like asparagus — decided to get rid of this annoying habit of his pupil.

So he set up a scene, where some robbers came, and pretended to kill the old man, who fell over.

And the Hero, of course, did the thing he had never been able to do before: he yelled “Nooooo!”

At this the old man got up, having proved that once again, even the most obnoxious of problems can be fixed with a simple antidote that has been used so many times that it may now be considered mandatory in stories. In this case, that classic example of the old Mentor being killed and the Hero yelling “Nooooo!”

And so, the Hero was cured, and the Mentor not dead (but then, who would be surprised at that “twist”). Because, although the Hero had said “Noooo!” he very fortunately had not said “You’re going to be okay.” For if he had said that, obviously the Mentor would most certainly not have been okay.

So of course they lived happily ever after, especially as the Hero could now reply correctly when asked if he liked asparagus.

A Writer’s Allegiance

penpapertree

A Writer’s Allegiance
by
Deborah O’Carroll

Oh, hear now, my pencil, I’ll sing you a song
You may not be short and you may not be long
Unlovely and stubby
All scratched up and grubby
Unsure if you’re square, round, fat, thin, right or wrong

Yet you are my pencil, and you I will use
Whenever a story does come from my muse
So true on the page
In good humor or rage
Yes you are the pencil I always will use

Yes pencil—oh wait now, I see something there
I see what it is and I can’t help but stare
A pen, smooth and black
I will be right back
As soon as I’ve looked at the pen, oh so fair

O pen, you could be very useful to me
And while you are with me the world you’ll see
As I write about mountains
And sweet silver fountains
To write with you always contented I’ll be

O beautiful pen, did I not speak quite true?
And happy together, me, paper and you
We get on so well
That nobody could tell
That our good companionship is very new

Pen, we’ll stick together—hold on, what is that?
A computer, you say, and that is a rat?
No, no, it’s a mouse
And it’s here in my house
A keyboard as well—and with that down I sat

Computer, how strange that we never did meet
I laughed as I typed and typed, such a great feat
You are my best friend
And you’ll be to the end
As all of my records together we’ll beat

Against a computer no thing can compare
A writing companion that truly is rare
So lovely are you
It is certainly true
Though you take up much room I never will care

Yes—oh, sorry, a moment, just give me a sec
From behind my ear, something fell on my neck
Why, you I do know
Could it really be so?
My pencil returned now, it’s vengeance to wreak

Apologies, pencil, to you I return
To stay with you always I promise I’ll learn
In fact I’ll show you
How much I do know you
For to me you are as the dirt to the fern

Oh, hear now, my pencil, I’ll sing you a song . . .

(repeat)

ohearnowmypencil

Tags: Loyal Dragons to Infinity and Beyond!

(Warning: This post is being was written late at night. I am not responsible for the shenanigans my sleep-deprived brain gets up to. Thou art warned.)

I was tagged! By Raychel Rose for the Dragon’s Loyalty Award, and by Madeline J. Rose (wait… ALL OF THE ROSES. :O Are you two related…? *eyes suspiciously* I’m waaatching you…) for the Infinity Award. Thanks so much to both of you!! ❤

I’m doing a double tag post ketchup catch up in a single post, because a) I am lazy, b) I’ve been blogging too much, and c) let’s be honest, “Loyal Dragons to Infinity and Beyond!!!!!” is a fabulous title (even without all the exclamation points). Can we agree on that? Yay!

Okay! So tags. Right. Onward!

Dragon’s Loyalty Award

dragonaward

Gaaah, what a prettiful blog award!! ❤ I love it. *clings affectionately*

Ruuuules

  1. Announce your win with a post, [check] and link to whomever presented your award. [*drrrumroll* Raychel Rose]
  2. Post 7 interesting things about yourself. [Um. I’ll see what I can do. Ahem.]
  3. Present 15 awards to deserving bloggers.
  4. Drop them a comment to tip them off after you’ve linked them in the post.
  5. Display the award certificate on your website. [See my newly-updated Badges page with other awards and aaaall the NaNo participant badges. Yesss.]

7 interesting (?) things about this dragonish blogger

  1. I love Toothless and he is possibly my favorite dragon ever.
  2. I do not love Smaug because he is evil but at least he is clever. (BOOK Smaug! We do not speak of movie-Smaug. Ahem.)
  3. Some of my favorite dragonish books are proooobably the Enchanted Forest Chronicles by Patricia C. Wrede, specifically Searching for Dragons BECAUSE MENDANBAR! Ahem. Kazul is cool too.
  4. I own a little golden dragon figurine which is glued to a turquoise rock. It once fell off so I re-glued it on. Yes you needed to know that. I would take a picture but I am lazy.
  5.  Sorry, scratch number 3, I just remembered how much I love The Reluctant Dragon by Kenneth Grahame. ❤
  6. Also the dragon stories by E. Nesbit. I LOVE THEMMM. (I still love the Enchanted Forest books though! I just remembered… other… dragony books. Dragony. Dragony is a wonderful word.)
  7. I have not read Eragon. Oops?

OH WAIT THOSE WERE ALL FACTS ABOUT ME ABOUT DRAGONS. See what I did there.

Tagging?

I verily awardeth you this veritable Dragon’s Loyalty Award if thou lovest dragons! (I’m looking at YOU, Lauri and Sarah and Cait. 😉 And YOU. Yes, you, in the dragon t-shirt.) You can dragon-theme it if you want. *shrug* But obviously nobody has to do it. XD

Infinity Award

Which is… apparently?… different than the Infinity Dreams Award…? Not sure.

Anyhoo!

This one has interrogations questions!

*dons monocle* Proceed.

*cymbals*

Who is your best blogging friend?

Can I not answer this. Pleeeeease? *makes adorable puppy eyes* I don’t like the saying “best friend” because it shows others that THEY are not. Which is not fair to ANYBODY. And makes them sad. Or is that just me. And this question sound suspiciously like that. HOWEVER. If a) you’re reading this and therefore (apparently?) read my blog, or b) if I comment on your blog aggressively obsessively, or c) both… then you may rightly assume you are one of my bestest blogging buddies. GROUP HUG, C’MERE. ❤

What is the best book cover you’ve ever seen?

SO MANY. Umm… Five Enchanted Roses or The Captive Maiden? POSSIBLY. I’m not sure. Let’s just say I’m partial to the color blue and girls in gorgeous dresses.

What’s your favorite slang word?

Y’all. Does that count? It’s super useful (and not only to alert people to the extinguishing excruciating distinguishing fact that I am… wait for it… a TEXAN). For instance, if you don’t say “y’all” to address a general group, you probably say “guys”, or “people”. Example: “Hey, guys!” “Hey, people!” This can be problem if a) there is a girl present (or, more likely, if there is not actually a guy in the group. Which happens a lot), or b) if not all those addressed happen to be people. What if they are aliens? Elves? Dragons (me, me! …Oh, right. That tag’s over… *sad face*). Cats. Noodles. Or other serendipitous sentient or not beings/creatures/items. THEY MIGHT TAKE OFFENSE. And we wouldn’t want that. Especially if they had sharp claws. Hence, y’all = solves every problem ever.

If you could have any animal as a pet, what would it be?

DRAGON. GRIFFIN. Oh right, I already have those… Okay, a puffin AND an otter. Naturally. Because they are the most adorable things EVER. (I also want a hummingbird to ride on. *makes even more adorable puppy eyes* PLEEEEEASE?)

Favorite flower?

Roses!

7197a05bb00548626faca019720bc1cd

(Especially if they come with BOOKS…!)

(Wait a minute. Roses AGAIN. That’s it — it’s a PLOT.)

(And we all know that plots are needed to have books. SEE ABOVE!)

(Wait. I’m going in circles. This is getting confusing.)

Scariest roller coaster/ride you’ve ever been on?

Haven’t. (Unless you count the above question.) Nor do I intend to. Duuuh. I’m not CRAZY. O_O (Heh… heh heh… Oh, right, you caught that, did you? *sidles subtly sideways and slips self in serious siding hiding place*)

Favorite Disney movie?

Ow! How do I decide? (Was Prince of Persia Disney?? *is too lazy to check*) …Okay, Tangled.

Book you want made into a movie?

Illusionarium! (See my Illusionarium Fangirling Babbles post from earlier this week…) It would make the positively coolest movie EVAR.

Also one of the scariest.

lfsacrificewillintomake

Favorite piece of jewelry?

The One Ring. My Celtic-cross necklace. ❤ ‘Tis my fave.

Savory or Sweet snacks? Which ones?

ALL OF THE SWEET THINGS. I’m good with chocolate. And cookies. With chocolate chips in them. And mushrooms. (Why did I say mushrooms. I hate mushrooms. Unless they are from the Mushroom Planet books. Umm… CHOCOLATE MUSHROOMS.)

All time favorite movie?

The Avengers/The Return of the King/How to Train Your Dragon/Prince of Persia. IT’S TOTALLY ONE MOVIE I SWEAR. (Actually that would be the coolest thing ever. *brainstorms* *finds thing on pinterest*)

THE END.

P.S. AND NOW WE KNOW HOW CRAZY DEBORAH O’CARROLL IS WHEN SHE IS FOOLISH ENOUGH TO BLOG LATE AT NIGHT. ISN’T IT EXCITING, FOLKS.

Audience: *round of applause mixed with horrified stares*

Me: *giggles hysterically*

Me: *quickly erases your memories*

P.P.S. You are tagged if you want. ^_^