I love umbrellas.
If I lived in London I would have an umbrella of my own who would be my best friend. We would go everywhere together.
The advantages of umbrellas are many and valuable, and often overlooked. Let me tell you the ways.
They are whimsical and useful, which can not be said of everything. Even the somber black ones have a whimsical elegance.
They obligingly fold very small when you want them to, or expand nicely.
They can have curved or straight handles.
They can house a sword if they wish (if you’re that kind of person and it’s that kind of umbrella) which can be very handy when you need to dash off on a sudden quest. Because you might not remember to bring your sword (depending on the suddenness of said quest) but your umbrella should always be along with you if they’re your best friend, you know.
They can be any color under the rainbow — and they frequently are (under a rainbow, I mean) due to their main occupation, so they would know all about that.
Most of all, they are kind enough to keep us dry, to lovingly shelter and protect us from rain.
Are not umbrellas the best and most loyal of friends? With an umbrella at our side, I believe we can face anything. (Or at least a rainstorm.)
Adventures With Inanimate Objects, #2. (See On Pillows and Their Sleeping Habits for the first. )
[This has indeed been a random post on the subject of umbrellas from yours truly, a writer who, living in Texas, does not often have cause to laud umbrellas but has recently found a use for them due to all that rain you may have heard about in relation to all that dead internet that’s been going around for a month or so…]
[Speaking of which, this is also to inform you loyal readers to count said writer as dead to the world of Internet for the time being because it is gone and will not return till we-know-not hence I will be absent. But that would be a sad subject of a post so you get umbrellas too. ^_^ ❤ you all and I will see you when I see you!]
Deborah O'Carroll (Road of a Writer) 
Ahh, how I miss the use of umbrellas here in the desert. ❤
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Um, yes, that would make them rather unnecessary I suppose. XD
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I actually live in a place where it precipitates (or could very well potentially precipitate) well over half the year . . . but I rarely end up using umbrellas, for reasons of not going out more than I must. That being said, they are fun. I’m going to get a new one this year, which I’m rather looking forward to.
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Yeah, I usually just get wet when I go out, which I don’t usually mind, but sometimes you have to go out and you don’t WANT to get wet… and that’s when they come in handy. 🙂
Yay! I hope your umbrella will be a good friend to you! 😉
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I love these sorts of everyday meditations. I once read an entire book of essays about Oranges. Delightful stuff.
Another quality of umbrellas you did not mention is their ability to double as a cane and, thusly used, to add elegance to your stroll through the park. Charlie Chaplin used them to great advantage in this regard.
Sorry about your internet. More time to write, then? I hope so.
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Oh wow. Oranges? That’s interesting… o.o
Ah, yes, they can work as canes, yes! I hadn’t thought of that. 😀
Thanks, D.J.! A bit more time to write but I also had the flu so… my brain wasn’t (and still isn’t) all there… 😛
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ASDGJDLJG. THIS POST IS EVERYTHING AND MORE.
Oh my bananas (I don’t even like bananas but whatever), this post is GENIUS. I LOVE IT TOO MUCH TO EVEN USE WORDS LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING. (But I’m a bookdragon so I guess that’s to be expected.) As you know, I have a bit of an obsession with umbrellas. I own like…five of them. Hehehe. 😛 But I’m not even sorry because THEY ARE JUST THE BESTEST THINGS ON EARTH. And this postttt <3333 I basically just want to hug you for forever because you are an amazing dragon who deserves hugs and chocolate. *HUGS*
That part about swords, though. XDDD *dies*
"They can be any color under the rainbow — and they frequently are (under a rainbow, I mean) due to their main occupation, so they would know all about that." HOW ARE YOU SO FUNNY, GIRL???
I'm basically just flailing in a puddle (get it? because umbrellas are used in the rain, which forms puddles? yep, I'm brilliant) of happiness right now because UMBRELLAS ARE LIFE. And your humor is just about as good as gingerbread. (Sorry, gingerbread still wins. XD)
I'll miss seeing your face (er…words?) in the blogosphere! Hopefully you get your internet back soon. (I'd probably die without mine, to be honest.) And ack, I just realized how long this comment is, BUT I DON'T REALLY CARE BECAUSE REASONS.
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EEK MARY YOUR COMMENT! *huggles you* My day is made okay. ❤
Yes, I'm aware you're a bit obsessed with umbrellas. XD The funny thing is, I didn't realize till like just the other day that I love them too! :O So I'm joining your umbrella-love club. 😀
Aww, I'm so glad you think I'm an amazing dragon! You are yourself! ^_^
Yes, umbrellas are life. 😀 And hey, I will not take up an argument with gingerbread. 😉
Thank you! AND I LOVE LONG COMMENTS SO YOUR REASONS ARE PERFECTLY VALID. ❤
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THIS. POST.
Oh my goodness! How do you make a post about UMBRELLAS delightful and hilarious? Only your brilliant mind!
I adored this post so much, I have no words. I’m funny about umbrellas. I think they’re the most adorable things in the world and yet…I never use them. I’d rather be wet than have to lug an umbrella everywhere. Like, I don’t want to take an umbrella in a store, because then I’d have to shop with it. It’s so much easier for me to just get wet in the short walk from the car to the door than be stuck with an umbrella in my hand for the whole shopping venture. I’m silly. But I still love umbrellas and they’re perfect for making completely adorable pictures and things.
ANYWAYS. This post was everything. Especially the rainbow part. I can’t. xD You are the best!
But your internet! GAH. You fail me, Celti’s internet. FAIL ME. That’s just horrible it’ll be out for who-knows how long. I sooooo hope they’ll be able to get it fixed soon!
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I DON’T EVEN KNOW HONESTLY. O_O I just wanted to write a post about umbrellas. 😛
Yeah, I hardly ever use them myself. It’s like I hardly think about them existing? I just usually get wet and don’t tend to mind much. But sometimes you just don’t WANT to get wet and that’s when they are handy. That’s so true about lugging them into stores though… yeesh, I wouldn’t want to bother with that. XD
And YESSSS they make the best pictures!!! 😀
D’aww, thank youuuu! ^_^ I’m so glad!
Eh, yeah… my internet. *shakes head at it* It seems to be back for now… *fingers crossed* Thank you so muuuch!
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As a fellow Texan (and one living in the far western portion of the state) I understand the sadness that comes with not getting to use an umbrella. But let’s be honest, I’d be more tempted to poke people with it than actually use it to take cover from rain. 😛
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Oh my goodness, YOUR COMMENT. XD I must say that I rather died. 😀 Poking people would be a terrible temptation, yes. 😛 And considering how far west you live, that’s way understandable you wouldn’t get to use one much… (poking aside. ;)).
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We had an umbrella. I liked that umbrella, it was fascinating and also a bit mysterious with all it’s literary connotations… it was completely black and belonged to Mom since before she had children. (Hence enhancing it’s fascination.)
But we never used that umbrella. When it rained we used brim hats and just shook the rain off our coats… and living in all parts west meant that rain wasn’t that common place of a thing, or that it lasted long.
However, in Nebraska, there came a soaker rain, a rain coming down so dramatically that we feared our coats would soak through before we even got to the barn.
Aha! Time for the umbrella!!! Mom agreed, since we’d hardly ever used the poor old thing.
It made perhaps two trips to the barn, being buffeted about and jerked this way and that by the angry, storm tossed wind. (Which in nebraska is considerable force.)
Then, even though we tried to aim it into the wind very carefully, and switch directions when the wind did… there came a great back gust, and turned our umbrella inside out.
Horrified, I fled to the safety of the house, and examined the stripped pinions carefully, trying to see some way of repairing the legendary umbrella.
But there was no way, and Mom said “It’s just the end of the line. Besides, we never used it. Throw it out.”
I mourned for that, partially because it was a loss of a childhood object of much admiration, and partially because it’s demised had occurred at my hand. (Or IN my hand, if you prefer, both are completely accurate.)
I thenceforth resolved not to take another umbrella out in high wind, and ergo, not to have another umbrella unless we live in a place where wind is rare, and high winds even rarer to the point of non-existance.
Thus concludes the sad tale of my Mom’s umbrella.
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Aww, your poor umbrella! Such a sad tale. But also highly interesting — thank you for sharing it! I feel privileged! 😉 Yeah, winds can be real scary for umbrellas, but it wasn’t your fault… I guess they’re mainly useful for rain without heavy winds. And I’m the same way, I don’t usually bother, and just get wet. 😛
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Aww, now I want an umbrella!
Went to college in Indiana, and had an umbrella… but we Freshmen all soon learned that they were not good companions in that area, because it doesn’t rain vertically in Upland… only horizontally, because of the wind. Umbrellas in Indiana all end up inside out… which they don’t like, and it isn’t nice to do things to a best friend that they don’t like. If one attempted to use an umbrella on a windy, rainy day, one generally had to use the umbrella as a shield due to the aforementioned horizontal nature of the rain (I’m not even exaggerating, though I’m sure it sounds like it).
My dear umbrella turned inside out and I had to lay it to rest. I have not owned an umbrella since… either because I learned to be unbothered by getting wet, or because I am still in mourning.
“They can be any color under the rainbow — and they frequently are (under a rainbow, I mean) due to their main occupation, so they would know all about that.” – that’s my favorite bit. 🙂
I love these random posts of yours!
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Ah, that would explain it! Horizontal rain… hmm. Very interesting! I imagine shield use for an umbrella would be more useful then, yes! You’re probably still in mourning, because, ya know, umbrellas. *nods* 😉
Thank you so much, Jenelle! That makes me happy to know! ^_^
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SUCH A GREAT POST. 😀
Also, I’ll miss you! I have internet troubles all the time, so I understand. 🙂
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Thanks Madeline! 😀
It’s back for the MOMENT… *fingers crossed* And aww, sorry you have ’em too! That’s the worst. *sympathetic hug*
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*sympathetic hug back* 🙂
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Creative! I admire your talent, but it worries me to hear things like AWOL.
Particularly when an umbrella can tell its tale like that.
Be well,
Carl Adrift in the Horse Latitudes. No, wait, that isn’t the Sargasso, it’s just the Navasota River…
>
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Thank you, Carl! 🙂
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I quite like umbrellas 😀
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Yay! You strike me as someone who would. They’re just so cool…
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Umbrellas are quite fun. I love my mini blue one I can carry in my purse. It’s good for rain or shine. I have pale skin so shade is my friend. XD
storitorigrace.blogspot.com
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Ooh, yours sounds lovely! Shade is my friend too. 😉 We pale people must stick to the shadows… XD
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Another blogger from Texas. o_o *glomps* The rain was horrid. Although thankfully it didn’t affect us that much.
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OH MY GOODNESS YOU ARE TOO REALLY?? :O That is awesomesauce!! 😀 *returns Texas-blogger-glomp* (There are so many of us awesome Texas writers/bloggers we should totally all meet up in the middle somewhere someday… It would be epic. :D)
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Yes yes yes! A meetup would be amazing. 😀
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Umbrellas are brilliant! I love twirling them around in front of me like they do in the movies.
Ellie | On the Other Side of Reality
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YES, that’s cool. 😀 They totally are brilliant. ^_^
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AW I SHALL MISS YOU DEBORAH. *sobs in your absence* But this post was wonderful…and so very true *nods* Although I live in a town where it rains soooo much that everyone in my family has a personal umbrella. haha. XD IT’S REALLY ANNOYING TO HAVE SO MUCH RAIN THOUGH. And our umbrellas don’t convert into swords. #disappointing I’ve always wanted one of those epically cute ladybug umbrellas though…GOALS. Or else the kind that Mary Poppins used because apparently it makes you fly?!? I NEED THAT IN MY LIFE.
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MAYBE MY ABSENCE WILL BE LESS NOW. And thank you! Hurray for personal umbrellas. 😀 Yeah I imagine that much rain is annoying… THERE SHOULD BE MORE SWORD UMBRELLAS. A ladybug or Mary Poppins one would be AWESOME yes. 😀
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