On Pillows and Their Sleeping Habits

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Note: I wrote this “article” some while ago, but I think it an appropriate subject here on the last day of NaNo, when all we writers really want to do after a long month of writing is to crash and sleep and forget about writing and everything to do with it. Though we should probably wait till tomorrow for that… December is a great time for napping.


On Pillows and Their Sleeping Habits
by
Deborah O’Carroll

The way to get good sleep is to sleep on a pillow that is also asleep—preferably two.

Now, this is more difficult than you might suppose. You see, pillows, by their very nature, are nocturnal. They tend to be wide awake at night and extremely dormant in the day. This is why we often do not sleep as well as we should like, for when the pillow you are sleeping on (or trying to sleep on) is awake, it stands to reason that it will try to keep you awake as well.

Pillows are mischievous like that.

It is possible that they are at times also responsible for some of the more bizarre dreams people have. Pillows are such cleverly weird creatures they can come up with lots of things to think into our unsuspecting drowsy minds. And the mere suggestion of an extremely strange idea to our own wildly creative minds is like a shiny new toy, so that even in our sleep we cannot help but begin to play with it—which, as before mentioned, can make for some seriously bizarre dreams.

At any rate, the trouble of getting good sleep can be narrowed down to getting the pillow to fall asleep first.

This is difficult.

Experts on the subject—or at least, as expert as anyone can be on such in unpredictable area of science—say that there is no tried and true method to making a pillow fall asleep, at least at this point in time. This is further complicated by the fact that it is not possible to be 100% certain that a pillow is truly asleep. Sometimes they are faking.

Various methods have been tried with varying uncertain results.

Some have tried pillow fights in an effort to tire the pillows out—which sometimes only makes them more awake and inclined to be either excited or grumpy, depending on the temperament of the individual pillow involved.

Others have tried leaving pillows in a dark closet in an attempt to convince them it is nighttime when it is really daytime, in order to keep them awake (they prefer sleeping in light), so that they will be tired come evening. But pillows generally have a pretty good sense of day and night, even when locked in a closet.

Many other methods have been tried, but it is in any case a very tricky business, and results have been non-conclusive.

However, if you should experience an extraordinarily restful sleep, it may be due to the fact that your pillow is as sound asleep as you are.

Happy dreaming!

DISCLAIMER:
This article has not been read or approved by any authorities on the nature of sleeping or otherwise pillows, nor is it sponsored by any pillow-selling entities. The author of this article is not responsible for any strange or nervous feelings by readers toward their pillows after reading this.

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19 thoughts on “On Pillows and Their Sleeping Habits

  1. Girl, have I ever mentioned before that I love your sense of humor? Because I do. 😄 I was giggling through this whole thing. (And I can most definitely see where Baz gets some of his personality. *wink wink*)

    I think my pillow can occasionally be tricked into falling asleep by being flipped the other way around… I haven’t the foggiest idea how such a change in position can cause it to go to sleep, but it works sometimes. 😄

    By the way, I just saw your Nano wordcount/badge thingamajigy–and CONGRATULATIONS!!!! YOU FINIIIIIIISHED!!! 😀 I’m so excited for you! *hands you cake . . . and a sleeping pillow*

    Liked by 1 person

    • Haha, thanks! And my sense of humor being compared to Baz totally makes my day. 😄

      I think the flipping-over thing makes sense, yes. Glad it works for you! 😉 Tricky creatures, pillows… have to know the right way to handle ’em!

      And thank you so muuuch! ^_^ *noms cake and sleeps for a hundred years with Sleeping Beauty*

      Like

  2. Asdfjkl that was just so hilarious. 😄 I was cracking up as I read it (which hopefully didn’t wake up my pillow…) Thankfully, my pillow likes to sleep a lot so it doesn’t give me too much trouble. Except for the night before any important event for which I of course need to get good sleep. Michievous little pillows… 😉

    On a completely unrelated note, I JUST LOOKED AT YOUR WORDCOUNT YOU ARE FINISHED YOU CAN RESUME LIVING!!! *dumps buckets of confetti on you*

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you! I’m glad ’twas amusing! 🙂 And I’m glad your pillow is a well behaved beasty and likes to sleep usually. 😉 Though, yes, I never get good sleep before important events, so I feel you! It’s probably because our pillows are just excited as us…?

      EEK thank you so muuuch! ^_^ *flails happily in confetti*

      Like

  3. OH MY WORD. This. Is. HILARIOUS!!!!! Seriously, girl, WHERE DO YOU COME UP WITH THESE HILARIOUSLY BRILLIANT THOUGHTS?!?!?!?!

    Your pillow has to sleep…. BWAHAHAHA!!! This puts a whooole new perspective on weird dreams and being unable to sleep. But it makes so much SENSE. I just can’t. This is the best. xDDD YOUR BRAIN.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This must be my problem… I must have had very wakeful, mischievous pillows who refuse to sleep at night all my life… and this has led to my inability to fall asleep easily and thus led to me believing incorrectly that I am a night owl and not a morning person like the vast majority of the rest of the world. It is my pillows’ fault! Thank you for explaining this phenomenon. I am off to try some of your tips! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Also, adding my congratulations to winning Nano!!!! I so happy for you!!!! Jumps up and down. Also, I LOOOOOOOOVE your snow flakes! They make me feel all warm and happy inside. And awwwwww, I’m so glad you’re excited about Yorien’s Hand! I’m excited, too! I must go look up these other authors, as well, because the stories you listed all sound amazing!

      Hope you had a great Thanksgiving!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yep, makes total sense! 😉 I’m a night owl as well… Both of us must just attract mischievous and wakeful pillows! o.o

        THANK YOU SO MUCH! ❤
        And I'm glad you like the snowflakes! I love them too. ^_^ (To be honest, I totally forgot about them this year but they came back on for the season because I'd left the setting on. XD)
        Yesss, very much looking forward to Yorien's Hand. 😀 And yes, I had a good Thanksgiving! Hope you did as well! 🙂

        Like

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