On Pillows and Their Sleeping Habits

(pinterest)

Note: I wrote this “article” some while ago, but I think it an appropriate subject here on the last day of NaNo, when all we writers really want to do after a long month of writing is to crash and sleep and forget about writing and everything to do with it. Though we should probably wait till tomorrow for that… December is a great time for napping.


On Pillows and Their Sleeping Habits
by
Deborah O’Carroll

The way to get good sleep is to sleep on a pillow that is also asleep—preferably two.

Now, this is more difficult than you might suppose. You see, pillows, by their very nature, are nocturnal. They tend to be wide awake at night and extremely dormant in the day. This is why we often do not sleep as well as we should like, for when the pillow you are sleeping on (or trying to sleep on) is awake, it stands to reason that it will try to keep you awake as well.

Pillows are mischievous like that.

It is possible that they are at times also responsible for some of the more bizarre dreams people have. Pillows are such cleverly weird creatures they can come up with lots of things to think into our unsuspecting drowsy minds. And the mere suggestion of an extremely strange idea to our own wildly creative minds is like a shiny new toy, so that even in our sleep we cannot help but begin to play with it—which, as before mentioned, can make for some seriously bizarre dreams.

At any rate, the trouble of getting good sleep can be narrowed down to getting the pillow to fall asleep first.

This is difficult.

Experts on the subject—or at least, as expert as anyone can be on such in unpredictable area of science—say that there is no tried and true method to making a pillow fall asleep, at least at this point in time. This is further complicated by the fact that it is not possible to be 100% certain that a pillow is truly asleep. Sometimes they are faking.

Various methods have been tried with varying uncertain results.

Some have tried pillow fights in an effort to tire the pillows out—which sometimes only makes them more awake and inclined to be either excited or grumpy, depending on the temperament of the individual pillow involved.

Others have tried leaving pillows in a dark closet in an attempt to convince them it is nighttime when it is really daytime, in order to keep them awake (they prefer sleeping in light), so that they will be tired come evening. But pillows generally have a pretty good sense of day and night, even when locked in a closet.

Many other methods have been tried, but it is in any case a very tricky business, and results have been non-conclusive.

However, if you should experience an extraordinarily restful sleep, it may be due to the fact that your pillow is as sound asleep as you are.

Happy dreaming!

DISCLAIMER:
This article has not been read or approved by any authorities on the nature of sleeping or otherwise pillows, nor is it sponsored by any pillow-selling entities. The author of this article is not responsible for any strange or nervous feelings by readers toward their pillows after reading this.

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Black Friday Book Sale

Hi everyone! I’m taking a break from the hecticness of NaNo (and the semi-comatose lazy state of someone who had a fabulous Thanksgiving dinner…) to let you know about a Black Friday book sale of some Indie Christian books… Because BOOKS! And SALES ON SAID BOOKS! And… did I mention books? 😀

I know this is being pretty well advertised across the interwebs today, so if this is the billionth time you’ve heard it, please forgive mwa. 😉 But everyone must hear about it!

I know that at least Shantelle Mary Hannu, Jenelle Leanne Schmidt, Kelsey Bryant, J. Grace Pennington and Sarah Holman have each written at least one tale that I simply adore, and there are lots of other authors participating as well.

You’ll find details below, and be sure to check out the deals of free and discount books! 🙂

I hope everyone (American) had a lovely Thanksgiving; if you’re doing NaNo: KEEP GOING, THE END IS NIGH, YOU CAN DO IT; and happy reading, everyone!

blackfridaybooksale2015

It’s that time of year. The time for buying presents, making wish lists, and planning New Year’s Resolutions. If any of those activities involve books for you, Indie Christian Authors has a perfect event for you.

From Nov 27 (that’s today!) through Nov 30th, more than 70 independent Christian books are on sale. You can find free shipping, $0.99 ebooks, package deals, and more! And if your budget is depleted from Christmas shopping, they’ve got you covered with some freebies!

Think 70 books is overwhelming? Narrow it down and find the perfect books for you or someone on your Christmas list by using this quiz to generate a customized book list.

What awesome reads of 2015 are you grateful for? What books are you looking forward to reading in 2016?

A note on the Ebooks Only page. All books are listed as “Sold Out.” This only refers to paperback copies of these titles. Please click onto the product pages to find descriptions and links to discounted or free ebooks.

Acknowledgements: Thanks to Leah E. Good for her work organizing this sale, Gloria Repp for completing the time consuming job of uploading book info to the sale website, and Hannah Mills for her fantastic design work on the website graphics. Hannah can be contacted at hmills(at)omorecollege(dot)edu for more information about her design services.

Encrypted Fangirl Message

We interrupt your regular reading schedule of rather lengthy semi-coherent posts usually about writing and books on The Road of a Writer to bring you the interesting (?) phenomenon of a brief message from a screaming, flailing, entirely incoherent fangirl who claims to be dying of “all the feels” or some such.

*Begin Encrypted Message*

A;LSJDFLKSJDL;KASJDLFKSAJDLFKJSLDJ
GUYS
THERE’S A TRAILER THING
AND IT’S
I JUST
AAAAAHHHH
I CAN’T
WHY ISN’T IT MAY ALREADY
I NEED IT TO BE MAY
DYING
ALKDJFLKSJDFL
HAWKEYE AND BUCKY AND ALL IN ONE MOVIE
BUT PAIN TOO AND JUST NO

BUT I NEED IT SO MUCH
ASKDJF
BUCKY & HAWKEYE
AND ALL MAH PEOPLES
HAWKEY & BUCKYYYYYY *flail*
TRAILER THING
SEE
SEE SEE SEE???
TRAILER
AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH
WATCH IIIIIIIIIIIIT
*flailing*

halp
dying here
send help
a time machine to May 6th would be extremely helpful
thank you goodbye I’ll just be in my fangirl corner dying thanks

*End Encrypted Message*

For those who understood that reference* that message, thank you for reading. For others, we apologize that we cannot provide a translation at this time as our staff is mysteriously missing and/or incapacitated and cite above message and NaNo as culprits of this phenomenon.

We now return to our regularly scheduled program. Thank you.

*

A Tale of Two Doctors

For the record, I haven’t seen the episode where Ten and Eleven are both there at the same time. But I did have this dream and write it down before that episode came out. They totally stole the idea from my dream. *nods seriously* (I want to see it so bad… Eventually. No, I still haven’t seen Eleven yet. I’ve only seen two and a half-ish seasons. I’m very behind. What can I say. Time. I need more time. Timey-wimey.)


A Tale of Two Doctors
(A Doctor Who Dream-Turned-Fanfiction)
by
Deborah O’Carroll

dw10The Tenth Doctor and the Eleventh Doctor are both around at the same time, and are waiting around in a dentist’s office, arguing. Because if you put two different versions of the Doctor together at the same time, they’re of course going to argue.

They’re arguing about dogs. Specifically whether, if you cross a breed of dog that’s big, fluffy, and intelligent, with a breed that’s small, short-haired and stupid, do you get dogs of a medium size, normal-length hair and average intelligence? They both take different views on the subject and are going at it with spirit.

I stand off to the side, listening to them and being quite amused, and there’s also the dentist and various people off to the other side. For some reason the office looks suspiciously like a store-room, full of lots of big boxes and crates, two of which Ten and Eleven are sitting on while they argue. It’s quite fantastically marvelous to watch.

All of a sudden there is a loud disturbance.

Bang! Crash! Bang!

A banging on the door, as of someone trying to get in. Going by past dreams, I know it could be something really creepy, so I at once start looking around to see if there’s a place to hide.

This is the smart thing to do.

I detect a closet and deem it a good discovery, and turn to watch what’s going on.

The two Doctors are still bickering, but someone else—alas!—quite foolishly opens the door.

dalekImmediately, a Dalek rolls in, buzzing its battle-cry.

“Exterminate! Exterminate!”

And starts blasting people all over the place.

Zap! Zap!

Ten and Eleven both jump up and start making the expected cries of alarm to the effect of “No!” and “It can’t be!” and “Daleks don’t exist anymore!”

I suggest, “Apparently they do, given that one is about to exterminate you. Hide?”

“Good plan!”

As the only bystander to survive, I show them the closet I’d found. Ten bravely and/or foolishly distracts the Dalek:

“Look! This is how you shave an eyebrow off with a sonic screwdriver!” He demonstrates on himself with an electronic humming buzz and a flash of blue light.

Eleven meanwhile pulls out the blaster weapony thing Jack Harkness had and blasts at the closet door with another flash of blue light, to see if it’s blastable, which it isn’t.

“It’s safe!” he decides.

Thus cheered, I evict a bunch of boxes and closet stuff from inside so there will be more space. The closet has lots of stuff, including, inexplicably, a small and completely adorable-looking otter curled up in a corner, who gets up and patters swiftly off past me while I stare in a sort of melted-by-adorableness-astonishment. Then, shaking free from my daydream, I hastily return to the task at hand.

dw11With the closet cleared, Eleven and I jump in and call for Ten to hurry. The Dalek goes back into action and Ten yelps and dodges, narrowly missing an exterminator blast. (Those Daleks should really go into the pest-control business…)

Ten scuttles toward the closet, yelling, “I hope my eyebrow grows back soon!” He zips inside with us. “It was far too nice of an eyebrow to waste!”

We slam the door and bolt it shut, and watch through the suddenly-transparent closet door as the Dalek scrolls up toward us. It starts talking to the Doctors, trying to intimidate them, or else to annoy them to death—or knock their ears off with its annoying buzzing voice.

They yell back at it: “You can’t get in! So—Neeaaah!”

The Dalek tries to blast the door. But . . . it. doesn’t. work. We actually got away! Since when does that ever happen in a dream? The scary “it” of the dream always gets you!

But not when it’s Ten and Eleven and me—No.

We are just too fantastic to be exterminated.

The End

(Don’t take all the credit, Ten. We were ALL brilliant!)

(Sorry for all the extra Ten pics. I haven’t met Eleven yet so I can’t love him yet. …Actually, I’m not sorry at all.)

The Hero Who Couldn’t Say No

The Hero Who Couldn’t Say No
by
Deborah O’Carroll

Once upon a time there was this . . . well, we’ll just call him a hero, even though he wasn’t exactly one, but was merely the Main Character of a story (specifically, this one).

This Hero had a strange thing about him, which was that he could not shake his head or say no.

If you said something to him like “Do you like asparagus?” he could not reply and give the obvious answer to that question — for of course, no one likes asparagus. You would have to rephrase the question to “Do you hate asparagus?” And he could nod, say “Yes!” and pour an emphatic stream of hate onto the subject, just as anyone would.

At any rate, this strange condition caused many problems, for, as you might imagine, not all questions asked of him had obvious answers like the asparagus one.

Probably what the Mentor would say… The Hero wouldn’t like it… (pinterest)

One day, the old man who was teaching him hero-like things (see: “Mentor”) — who, for the record, did like asparagus — decided to get rid of this annoying habit of his pupil.

So he set up a scene, where some robbers came, and pretended to kill the old man, who fell over.

And the Hero, of course, did the thing he had never been able to do before: he yelled “Nooooo!”

At this the old man got up, having proved that once again, even the most obnoxious of problems can be fixed with a simple antidote that has been used so many times that it may now be considered mandatory in stories. In this case, that classic example of the old Mentor being killed and the Hero yelling “Nooooo!”

And so, the Hero was cured, and the Mentor not dead (but then, who would be surprised at that “twist”). Because, although the Hero had said “Noooo!” he very fortunately had not said “You’re going to be okay.” For if he had said that, obviously the Mentor would most certainly not have been okay.

So of course they lived happily ever after, especially as the Hero could now reply correctly when asked if he liked asparagus.