From an Annoyed Character

WriteTare

Hi blog readers.

Tare here.

Who I am is irrelevant, though you may remember me from the excruciating interview my author made me go through for your alleged benefit. I hope you enjoyed it because I most adamantly did not. …Actually, I hope you didn’t enjoy it: I do not want to go through that again.

If you’re wondering what I’m doing here of my own accord, despite not being much of a written word person, I decided to hack my author’s blog because I want her to pay attention, and she’s not getting the message any other way.

KW2coverPI’m a little annoyed at her for dragging her feet and not getting on with writing my story.

Actually, “a little” doesn’t cover it at this point.

Instead of writing my story at a reasonable pace, or even putting it off until December — which might be preferable, since she’s all set on the idea of writing a random fairytale-like romance thing in some other world for NaNoWriMo and I don’t want to compete with that at this point — she seems to have decided that it’s all right to creep along at the snail-like pace of one hundred words per day, for some contest she says will “keep her writing”.

One hundred words. Per day. Honestly.

It’s getting tedious.

Plus she keeps going off to write about other characters in the story — characters who really ought to annoy her as much as they do me, but don’t because she’s not sensible like that. And she seems to write them faster than she does me, which is frankly annoying considering it used to be the other way around. It’s like she’s avoiding me.

I keep trying to tell her to get a move on, but she’s not listening. I think not listening is a common character-flaw among authors. Like when I try to tell her that she should either go back to sleep or get up and write, instead of lying awake thinking about writing like she always does. Naturally, she argues that it’s my fault for always only telling her things about my story in the middle of the night. But really, is it my fault that that’s when I’m awake? No, it’s hers, because she keeps giving me constant nightmares whenever I try to sleep; she sort of brought it on herself.

Maybe she’ll actually get something useful done this week on my story. Hopefully. Otherwise she’ll start on her other story and I’ll get a month-long vacation. …Which is not actually such a bad thing.

But it can be nettling to be totally forgotten. I’ll make sure to give her occasional hints at plot points coming up that she doesn’t know about yet, to make sure she doesn’t entirely forget about my story while she’s writing her NaNo fairy tale thing. (She’ll probably gripe about it, of course, saying that I’m distracting her, but what can you do? She’d complain more if I didn’t tell her anything…)

All right, I’m done.

You might hear from my author again if she’ll stop procrastinating and actually write some of those blog posts and reviews and things she keeps saying she’ll write. I keep telling her to just do them already but she claims she’s busy.

If by the slightest chance she doesn’t appear here until December, it will either be because I ran out of patience and locked her in her closet until she works on my story, or because she’s doing NaNo. You know. Whichever.

–Tare

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28 thoughts on “From an Annoyed Character

  1. (SKLDJFOIDJ:OFIHJDF:LKDJfkjSD. TAAAAAAARE!!!!!!!)

    Ahem.

    Now, Tare, you have to be patient with your author. Being a writer is exceedingly hard work, trust me. And she DID write your whole first book and edit it. Almost all of my characters can’t even claim they have a full, edited book of their own, much less a start of a sequel. You should feel privileged. AND it is NaNoWriMo prep season. She’s very busy! Really, you must give her some slack. Do try not to distract her TOO much during NaNo. I promise, she’s not going to forget you. Trust me on that one…

    Also, I’d rather you not lock my dear friend in a closet. It’d make me quite unhappy. And I KNOW you care deeply about my happiness, riiiiight, Tare??

    Liked by 1 person

    • *raises eyebrows* …Why are you babbling incoherently and yelling my name, exactly?

      Trust me, I’ve been being patient. She just is starting to fray it. And fine, be that way. Authors always team up against characters, I guess.

      …Do you have inside knowledge? Because I’m not sure you can promise she won’t forget. She does it to her other characters all the time, believe me. I’ve seen it too often.

      Okay, maybe I won’t, then. I wouldn’t necessarily say “deeply”, but you’re clearly forgetting the birthday incident. If I did THAT for you, I guess I can keep from doing this. Maybe you could talk to her and make her promise to at least TRY. She’d probably listen to you (even if she doesn’t to me).

      -Tare

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      • Huh? What? Characterscan’tseeintoparentheses. *COUGH*

        Ah, but characters always team up against authors, and there’s many more of you than there are of us. So we have to band together. Survival and all that.

        Erm… *whistles* Yeah, you can call it inside knowledge. Or just…a knowing. Let’s go with that. No, she won’t forget you. I can hold to that promise. (And if she forgets I’ll remind her. Ahem.)

        Forget the birthday incident? Never!! Have I properly thanked you for that? I don’t think I did. So…thank you… *suddenly feels very uncomfortable* Aaanyway, I do appreciate you not locking her up. And sure, I’ll talk to her. I never do let her abandon KW for too long. *grins*

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        • I was not aware of that. Apparently it worked this time, though. Perhaps because I’m directly on the computer instead of being filtered through my unhelpful author. What OTHER things go on in these mysterious parentheses, I wonder.

          …You know nothing of survival; and anyway authors are perhaps few but have more power over their characters, so your point is invalid.

          Well then. Thank you. I’m not sure why you would care, but. *shrugs*

          You’re… welcome? I think? >.>

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  2. Oh Tare. Try to think about someone ELSE for just a moment. Your author likes you an awful lot. Did it ever occur to you that perhaps being nice to her might make things go more smoothly? (Ah, but if you were genuinely nice too often, you wouldn’t be *you.* What a predicament.)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ohhh man. O_O Okay, I’m going to censor Tare’s direct answer to that and translate it. πŸ˜„

      He got very fiery and said he would like you to know that he thinks about other people a LOT. This is a sore point with him for reasons that will not be gone into here. πŸ˜›

      And as for being nice, he says he’s been trying, has been nicer than I deserve, considering, and thinks you should ask ME to be nice to him in return. (Naturally.)

      He also got really worked up about your comment about if he was nice he wouldn’t be him, ranted about it for awhile and asks what is he — a monster?

      That’s some of what he said… But I don’t think I’m going to let him directly talk to people when he’s in such an upset mood. O_O You really know the things to say to get him riled. πŸ˜„

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      • O.O Oh dear. Now I feel so bad for Tare!
        Tell him that I haven’t read far enough to discover what lies beneath his gruff exterior. πŸ˜₯
        (And okay, okay–Deb, be nice to Tare. There. I said it. πŸ˜‰ )
        No, he’s not a monster! Not exactly. More of a ragged-edged knife. And I suspect that very trying circumstances have to do with that. So tell him I be sowwy.
        I’m not sure whether it’s a good thing that I know how to get him riled…
        Tare, would a hug help? πŸ˜„

        Liked by 1 person

        • This whole interaction killed me. Tare… πŸ˜„ *shakes head*

          Good luck on trying for a hug, Michelle! You’re going to need it, trust me.

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        • Wha–? Come on, I didn’t mean to make you CRY. *runs fingers through hair, at a loss for what to do*

          (Aside to author in case she’s reading this: *glares at author* What did you DO? You were misrepresenting me to her or something. -_-)

          And thank you, Michelle. If she listens, you’ve been very helpful. And… oh, all right, apology accepted, I suppose.

          No, it would not. NO. HUGS.

          And Lauriloth: It’s disturbing how often I’ve heard you tell my author that I killed you… I assure you I have not; I think I’d remember that.
          …No comment on the hug thing. -_-

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  3. :O Tare. ❀ You just become absolutely, utterly adorable. *claps hand over mouth* You probably didn't want to hear that.

    Well that's good. I think she'll listen… She IS a friend of mine, after all. πŸ˜‰

    Okay, fine, no hugs. For now. One day, I'll sneak one in when you're not ready.

    @Lauri: You were right about the luck… πŸ˜„

    Liked by 1 person

    • …No, I did not want to hear that. *facepalm* /Please/. I’m not a teddy bear. -_-

      Friends. Not something I’m real experienced on. But as long as you think so.

      Actually, I’m always ready. I’ll be watching you…

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      • *giggles* Actually, ‘teddy bear’ truly did cross my mind, I will admit. πŸ˜„
        Aww. 😦 (Note to author: by the end of the KW series, you must fix this problem. Tare needs friends.)
        You remind me of Roz (Monsters Inc.). But okay. You never know, one day you might slip. πŸ˜‰

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        • Tare is glad you did not think of a teddy bear. πŸ˜„ It came up though because at one point in the sequel, which part I’ve not written yet, someone is holding on to him and won’t let go because it’s dark and they don’t want to get lost and he says he’s not their teddy bear. *giggles*

          I acknowledge your note and will merely say that I am possibly perhaps working on remedying this. Possibly. πŸ˜„

          …No comment. Tare is going please no again, though, and saying there are some things that people should just NOT GO THERE. (Roz?? Srsly? O___O I know, I know, the “always watching” part. πŸ˜› But still… o.o)

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  4. Methinks Tare misread, because I DID think of a teddy bear… πŸ˜„

    Possibly. Okay, I can live with possibly. πŸ™‚

    LOL! πŸ˜› ALRIGHT, TARE, I GIVE UP. I’ll be nice.

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    • …Oh. That was my fault, I was half asleep when I read that. o.o Tare probably noticed and was probably trying to tell me you said the other thing. πŸ˜„ Poor Tare!

      Possibly. *laughs an evil author laugh*

      Tare is glad. …There, you gave him a bit of sunshine. πŸ˜‰

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  5. Pingback: Tare Turns 5 Years Old | The Road of a Writer

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