Hi blog readers.
Who I am is irrelevant, though you may remember me from the excruciating interview my author made me go through for your alleged benefit. I hope you enjoyed it because I most adamantly did not. …Actually, I hope you didn’t enjoy it: I do not want to go through that again.
If you’re wondering what I’m doing here of my own accord, despite not being much of a written word person, I decided to hack my author’s blog because I want her to pay attention, and she’s not getting the message any other way.
Actually, “a little” doesn’t cover it at this point.
Instead of writing my story at a reasonable pace, or even putting it off until December — which might be preferable, since she’s all set on the idea of writing a random fairytale-like romance thing in some other world for NaNoWriMo and I don’t want to compete with that at this point — she seems to have decided that it’s all right to creep along at the snail-like pace of one hundred words per day, for some contest she says will “keep her writing”.
One hundred words. Per day. Honestly.
It’s getting tedious.
Plus she keeps going off to write about other characters in the story — characters who really ought to annoy her as much as they do me, but don’t because she’s not sensible like that. And she seems to write them faster than she does me, which is frankly annoying considering it used to be the other way around. It’s like she’s avoiding me.
I keep trying to tell her to get a move on, but she’s not listening. I think not listening is a common character-flaw among authors. Like when I try to tell her that she should either go back to sleep or get up and write, instead of lying awake thinking about writing like she always does. Naturally, she argues that it’s my fault for always only telling her things about my story in the middle of the night. But really, is it my fault that that’s when I’m awake? No, it’s hers, because she keeps giving me constant nightmares whenever I try to sleep; she sort of brought it on herself.
Maybe she’ll actually get something useful done this week on my story. Hopefully. Otherwise she’ll start on her other story and I’ll get a month-long vacation. …Which is not actually such a bad thing.
But it can be nettling to be totally forgotten. I’ll make sure to give her occasional hints at plot points coming up that she doesn’t know about yet, to make sure she doesn’t entirely forget about my story while she’s writing her NaNo fairy tale thing. (She’ll probably gripe about it, of course, saying that I’m distracting her, but what can you do? She’d complain more if I didn’t tell her anything…)
All right, I’m done.
You might hear from my author again if she’ll stop procrastinating and actually write some of those blog posts and reviews and things she keeps saying she’ll write. I keep telling her to just do them already but she claims she’s busy.
If by the slightest chance she doesn’t appear here until December, it will either be because I ran out of patience and locked her in her closet until she works on my story, or because she’s doing NaNo. You know. Whichever.